While I am certainly not any man’s ideal (who is really?) and I definitely have my own ridiculous flaws I can still point out some of the mistakes that you guys make. It is for your own benefit really. I am simply thinking of you (yeah that’s it).
First, and though we have discussed this before, we must address those pics.
Is there a handbook that you get when you sign up for online dating that tells you to post pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror? The longer I am online the more I am seeing this and I JUST DO NOT GET IT!
I also do not understand the sexy pose. Is that really supposed to entice me? Does that work for you? I can appreciate pics of your rocking athletic body, especially if I am seeing it because someone took a pic of you while hiking or surfing or… whatever. However, you standing in the kitchen, shirtless, with your hand tucked into you pants as you read a book… WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?
Okay… I’ll stop picking on the photos. You know if you have bad ones because they are similar to or induce the same reaction you just read. So what do we girls (and when I say we, I mean me) want to see?
Your face. Your smile. Maybe a pic of your body… in clothes! A pic of you wearing a goofy Halloween costume or doing something silly is actually really attractive too. Show a bit of the personality. Keep it simple.
This is a difficult one because what do you say to a stranger? In normal, in person situations, you would ask questions about the other person. So that’s a good start. Reference something from their profile to show that you are truly interested in the person not just the visage.
DO NOT write one stock email and send it to every girl you are interested in. Even if you change a few details… it still reads like a form letter and I’m sorry but I’ve never met anyone who didn’t want to feel special. Even if you write a bad email it is still better than that because you put in the effort. Effort goes a long way (more about this later).
If a girl writes you an email first and you are even a bit interested… pay attention to what she has written you. If she asks you specific questions… answer them. Show that you have read what she wrote and then ask her questions back. Don’t just answer her questions and leave it at that. Unless you are trying to tell her that you aren’t interested… in which case, grab your balls and say “no thanks”. There is even a button that you can push that will automatically send this message for you so you don’t even have to type.
Be courteous and always be respectful of her desire for safety. Which leads us to…
They have been saying for years that it is dead but I have witnessed it with my own eyes. Not often, mind you, but it does indeed still live and breathe in the heart of every man who cares enough to… well… care.
No this doesn’t mean you always have to pay (although some may argue this point and you probably should on the first date… no matter who asked). It does mean that you should open doors, let her go first when walking to a table or into a room (unless it is into danger, then you should go first… but why are you leading her into danger in the first place? That’s not good). Be on time, call when you say you’ll call and always be honest.
Speaking of Honesty… (check back for Dear Fellas: Part Two and in the meantime don’t forget to send in your tips for my new profile!)